May day

I washed my face in the morning dew on Arthur's seat today. I am very glad that I did make it. Although I was terribly tired in the morning (I had slept only four hours the night before, and I had a stressful day, as I had to prepare for my jc presentation), I managed to make it out of bed. A message from a friend last night had motivated me enough: Do not forget praying on Thursday night, the beginning of Rajab, one of the most respected holy months for Muslims. I read the message as either there is indeed something especial about Thursday or one should make it special. Either way, I got determined.
I was at the foot of Arthur's seat at half past 5. Contrary to my expectation, there were tens of groups of young people going up there. If you have a wish, you make it. Never time matters. There were few tour guides as well. They seem to be free, as one middle aged stout bald guy approached me. "Would like to get Eternal Beauty too?!" he grinned. First, I did not get it. Thanks to the invention of "sorry" in the UK, making natives repeat it for you. "Yes, of course! That's why I am here!" I smiled back. "So, come on, join us for a walk tour!", he said something like that. I looked around. Two couples were there, they looked like foreigners. And of course! A native could find his way to the top with his fellows, why bothering with tours. I thanked him and said that I am a bit in a hurry. I have to be back by 8, as I have a flight later this morning. He grinned, "alright", and turned back to the couples.
It was cloudy. I was a bit concerned it might rain. It does not mean I do not like the rain, I was just a bit concerned of getting cold by the time that I see my beloved one in Italy. Walking up, I strongly felt solitude. A good solitude. It felt like walking with your loved one, or whoever you care about, or whom you are realizing that you like to care about. I intended to walk fast, but I didn't. I wanted to "relax". I cannot resist laughing or smiling when I use the word "re'lax"! With a strong stress on the second syllable! That is the way I murmur it sometimes. This is the way THE Compulsive Walker made joke of me once in a restaurant when I said why I am not sitting right in the chair. "You want to be relax!", he said, with a strong accent on the second syllable, and laughed. We laughed.
I wanted to be re'laxed. I walked slowly. Contemplating about my life. About whom I am. About such an uneasiness inside me. The Explorer, what I call myself sometimes. When I do not understand the thirst inside me for exploring unknowns. Not about science. About my"self". About other"selves". About the hills, the plants, the flowers. I love to know the name of each flower on earth to call them with their proper name. Not to pass them unnoticed. Maybe I should call them by the names I like to name. Yeah, it is more friendly. More caring.
I love to write, not to read or open my laptop, when I am on the air, miles above the earth. Ali creates his ideas. All those soffisticated mathematical ideas with which he lives, and none makes sense to me. But, I write, perhaps none makes sense to him. Are we closer to heaven when when we are up here? Or better, closer to our self? Or the materialistic fact is that we cannot do any usual boring thing here. It is the very time for ourself to do whatever we like. To be whoever we are. When, Ali creates his ideas. When, I write.
I did not get to the top. It did not matter getting to the top. I has already washed my face in the morning dew. I had already prayed for Eternal Beauty. For Eternal Wisdom. For Eternal kinship with mySelf.