The Secret

"How much I hate going to school", Arden looked down with a frown, while his knapsack was hanging on his right shoulder. He hit a stone. The stone moved a few steps forward. He bent down. He tied his shoe laces. Everything about school was boring even his usual white shoes and navy uniforms. He wished that the quake had damaged this school too.

He noticed Mrs. Durnian from distance. At the usual place. At the corner of the alley of the school. The woman was dragging herself with her walking stick. Laboriously, she bent down. She picked up something from the ground. It must be her coin bowl. A boy was running away, laughing out loud. Other kids were roaring with laughter. One of them shouted, "I won the bet! Didn't I tell you?! Mrs. Durnian is still smiling!" Mrs. Durnian was dragging back with her usual smile on her lips.

"Mrs. Durnian!" Arden whispered, smirking. Once, he asked her mother at dinner how Mrs. Durnian could be called "Mrs." Durnian. His mom had replied that everyone has a name. How much he hated these kind of answers her mother gave him. She never gives him the right answer. He later heard Mrs. Durnian has not been a beggar all the time. Poor woman, she had lost every thing in the quake. Also his leg.

He approached her. He tossed a few pennies in the bowl. His mother had asked him. “This is for Mrs. Durnian,” he heard every morning before leaving home during all past months since they have moved to this new area. 

"God bless you," said Mrs. Durnian.

Arden thought, "I bet she is smiling. One of those fake smiles. Those funny smiles that you think she is forced to do it." He secretly looked at her eyes and smirked.

"The fate, son. This is my fate."

Arden surprisedly faced back. Mrs. Durnian was emptying the bowl on her blue skirt. The school bell was heard. Arden looked down the alley to the end. Kids were running to the school. He turned back his gaze. Mrs. Durnian was putting back the coins into the bowl. Arden asked him curiously, "is it true that you lost your leg in the quake?"

Mrs. Durnian raised her gaze and said, "Boy, that was the least of what I lost." Her eyes looked strange. As if she was crying. Or, as if she was about to cry. How ridiculous her face looked like with her fake smile and those eyes which had cried or were about to cry.

Arden said with a frown, "Why do you always smile?"

The line of her lip changed. As if she was smirking. Like her mom's smirking when he pretends to be sick in the morning. She said, "The fate, my son. The fate has put such a smile line on my face. The quake made me look like this."

She was not looking to Arden anymore, turning her gaze towards street. Arden followed her gaze. A mother was angrily dragging her child. The kid was blubbering.

Arden felt Mrs. Durnian was whispering something down her lips. He slightly bent down to hear the whisper. "The life ... obligation.” It seemed she was saying, "the life is an obligation.” Arden pursued Mrs. Durnian's gaze. The mother was shouting to the kid. Arden took a breath and said, "How much I hate school."

Mrs. Durnian turned her gaze toward Arden. This time the smile looked different. It was like her mother's smile when she tells him goodnight every night. She said, "Life is an obligation. But not all of it. Son, you should laugh to its obligation and live it. You should laugh to its volition and live it.”

Arden frowned shortly, confused. He did not understand what she meant. He took a look at the end of the alley. The mother and the kid were about to enter the school. The kid did not seem crying anymore. "Accepting defeat”, Arden thought. He looked back over his shoulder.  Mrs. Durnian's head was down. She was emptying coins from the bowl on her blue skirt. He shrugged and ran to the school.

He got to the door of the school. He stopped. He felt a choking sensation in his throat. A lump. The one that he feels each day. He turned his face. Mrs. Durnian was gazing at him from distance. Perhaps with a smile. Perhaps with her usual fake smile. Maybe with his mom's smile when he pretends to be sick in the morning. He looked into the school. The kid was waving her hand for his mom, entering the building. Arden smiled. And he went inside.